For anyone that is curious (and may want to get riled up with me!) about what this whole family/aunt/estate thing is about here is the story-ready to lay it all out there this morning LOL!
This morning I spent about 2 and a half hours going through bank statements looking for loans that my grandma had made to family members and evidence of payments. ?Imagine this, I can't find any payments that my aunt or her daughter have made toward ALL the money that they borrowed from Grandma. ?My mother's famous line was always (this sounds really hillbilly but my mom was a shrewd and very professional business woman that ALWAYS did what was right, and trust me, right was right, wrong was wrong with her, no grey area there) "the first one to smell the fart is usually the one who did it". ?Her version of "calling the kettle black...". ?So my aunt is accusing my uncle and I of taking money from my grandma yet I have evidence of over $210,000- that has either promissory notes written out or memos of "loan" on the checks between she and her daughter and no evidence of any payment toward those debts, which really stinks for my aunt because on three of her $25,000 notes from 2003 it says that if regular payments are not made she will have to pay the highest interest rate allowable by law, ouch! ?Then to top it off she admitted in a nasty gram that everyone got a copy of that she and her hubby are the ones that typed up those note and the terms, then signed it, how dumb can you be?! ?Then I found another $75,000 note for her and her hubby with only 2.48% interest from 2004 and she is claiming that that is an?accumulation?of the three $25,000, well guess what, there doesn't seem to be any paper work to document that, so that will be my bargaining tool, not that I have any reason to bargain anything, the worst thing I have done is to round up to the nearest dollar when it came to reimbursing caregivers for groceries and medicines, I 'spose if you want to bust me for that, go for it. ?I feel really bad for my cousin because her mother has pretty much thrown her under the bus, if my aunt had kept her mouth shut and not insisted on a 10 year audit (which I have 7 done and can't do anymore because bank records only go back 7 years...the other three she can figure out how she is going to get-oh and pay the $3000 to $6000 for a professional audit and the $1000- [so far] invoice from the bank for back statements that I was not able to find around Gram's and my uncle's homes during the 12 hours [total] that I spent looking for them). ?So anyway, my cousin owes the estate $10,000 or more at this point, that is what she has spent above what my grandparents were going to leave her...let alone the interest which I have been told must be charged according to the law. ?I wonder if her mother will loan it to her lol!
Don't get me wrong, my uncle borrowed his share too but I have check numbers and dates to back up his payments. ?That was another project, finding all of that for him.
My aunt is having a fit because I get the grandchild and my mother's inheritance. ?"Why do you get both?!" ?I tried to explain the terms but she was mean and snotty and didn't hear a word I was saying, I should have just said because that is how Grandma and Grandpa put it in their will or "because my mom is dead!". ? Mind you we are talking about an?intelligent?woman here, she was a teacher for many years and a principal for 10. ?I swear she can't hear over the boiling in her head and for what, this is so ridiculous! ? ? ?
She has been?obsessed with "the money that is hidden in the house" down to suggesting ?"taking the ceiling tiles down in the basement" of my grandparents house because there is probably money hidden in there. ?I told her "no, we are not going to do that". ?For Pete's sake let's just tear the drywall off the walls too, just in case! ?Maybe she can bargain for that house as part of her inheritance so she can look for "all that money".? ?For the first three days after (including the day of the service) I heard how we need to look here, we need to look there for money that is hidden in the house. ?How?disrespectful, not to mention going back 10 years in financial records, that was when everything was my grandparents business, I could understand if she wanted to audit the year that my uncle did it and the year I did my grandmother's books.
Right after my grandma passed she said "anytime you want to go clean out the house, I am available anytime, just let me know". ?Where were you when I needed someone to give her meds. in the am because the caregiver that was scheduled that day was uncomfortable or not allowed to do it so I drove 35 min vs her 2 miles to my grandma's to do it? ? I asked and she wasn't available then! ?Or the nights that I spent there because we didn't have a caregiver that night or I needed 2 there at the end so I filled in the blanks. ?Where were you retired with no children at home person?! ?Where were you when I moved my family in to my grandma's for 4 days after she came home from a hospital stay and drove my kids 20 miles to school, came back to my grandma's to care for her after getting little to no sleep the night before because I was up 3-5 times with her, and then went back to pick my boys up after school, and came back to Gram's again? ?I was not the one bent over her dead body saying "I have so many regrets", what are those the fact that you didn't get more money out of her before she died, that you didn't take advantage of her when she had?dementia, or the fact that you couldn't because I had her checkbook?! ?I have no regrets, none, zero. ?And I was kind enough to call my aunt first on the night my grandma died because I wanted my aunt to have some time alone with her before everyone else got there, for what, she really didn't deserve it after all, I thought maybe she would have softened, repented, changed but no, that doesn't seem to be the case.
I'll tell you what, if I was I her position I would be taking a GOOD look in the mirror and questioning what was wrong with me that my mother changed her will and switched her POA from me to her grandaughter. ?My motherly quote to my boys has always been "when it seems like the world is against you, maybe you need to look in the mirror and make sure it is not you against the world" meaning that maybe you are the one that is wrong and everyone else is correct. ? ?
As I said before, Gram's attorney says there is nothing to worry about legally but to be accused of some of the garbage I am being accused of when I did EVERYTHING that I could for my grandmother while others sat on there bottom 2 miles away, sucks (excuse me)!
I wish that they had left everything to charity or at least cut her out! ?But that was not how they did things and I would not have been able to do it either (the cutting her out part, the charity yes, for sure). ?I would drop everything right now and divided it all up according to the terms of the will right now, forget all debts, but I guess, again according to the law, that it is to late for that, everything is out on the table I was told so we have to trudge forward and all debts must be paid or deducted. ?I feel bad because it would have been nice to see my cousin use her inheritance for a down payment on a house or something, not have to pay, because?obviously?they struggle to make ends meet, but her mother opened a can of worms by getting it in her head that there should have been more money there than there is so my uncle and I must have taken it.
Whatever.
K-
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Source: http://thestonehouseprims.blogspot.com/2012/09/family-matters-this-is-whole-story-of.html
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